This writing is very deep, honest and brave. I read the other response that said do not tell him and read the reasons why, and while I agree on the reasons, I have always had a hard time finding closure when I don’t have the answers I need. So my advice would be if you say what you have to say to him, say it from a place of compassion to help him not to feel better yourself. Tell him what HE needs to know, In an honest, truthful way- answer HIS questions. The rest is work you have to do yourself to heal your heart and soul- which sounds like you’re doing already as you write and process things.